Walking to work. My office for the next few weeks is a co-working space in Laureles, Medellín. The sky is blue and sunlight cuts between the branches that line the old streets. I’m excited about this new level of my adventure. This is my first international nomad experience. My commute is full of savoring the new environment after months of anticipation.
The newness of Colombia is as enriching as it is complicated. I quickly notice my lack of familiarity with basics of life. Social strategies my autopilot would have utilize are worthless. Simple things, like what the currency looks like, what ATMs will allow me to withdraw money, or where to find groceries have become time consuming uses of my mental energy. To top it off, I still know very little of the language.
As a blond haired blue eye man in this city, I know there is no amount of hiding the truth. I’m not from here. I am a gringo, and no amount of preparation will change that or allow me to blend in. Despite the obvious aspects of myself which I can not change, I try to understand and adapt as much as I can to appear less lost.
I avoid typical tourist behaviors for Medellín which make it obvious I don’t know the norms. Such as wearing jeans over wearing shorts. Avoiding sandals, despite how warm it gets.
Deep in the recess of my mind, I try to project an attitude and perspective that I’ve done this before. I project the idea that I’m experienced with this place. That I know where I am and where I’m going.
Over the years of growth, one of the most important lessons was understanding eye contact. Locking eyes with strangers communicates a lot of importance in an instant that is hard or slow to logically convey. Colombia is one of those places where this skill has been so crucial. The people here have a reputation for starring. Unfazed by western conventions of this coming across as rude or violating.
As my walk continues, I make an effort to maintain my practice of locking eyes with the strangers I pass. Taking note of the non-verbal exchange I experience. Reading their subtle mannerisms and expressions. The message I would initially get is something along the lines of,
“What are you doing here?”, echoed with confusion and curiosity throughout their face. One could construe this as a sense of apprehension or displeasure. I start to wonder if I’ll ever feel accepted here, as doubt consumes me. Encounters like this would happen multiple times a day. As the days went by, I knew I was missing something. Something human that would further the connections I knew I was missing.
It wouldn’t take me long to recognize an opportunity to add some fundamental elements to my Spanish. I would learn that a generic greeting was as simple as,
“Buenas”.
A condensed form of “Buenas Dias” or simply “how are you”.
An unfamiliar word. A sound that had little importance in my life was rehearsed. Practicing multiple times I feel better prepared.
Another day. More of these ‘passing-by’ encounters with the locals occur. My eyes would lock with my new Paisa neighbor. Again I read their expression, and again I interpret what I see as apprehension and confusion. This time I speak up in my best Spanish and project one word,
“Buneas”
While not every time, most people would show a clear shift in the facial expressions and perceived attitudes. Changing the experience I was reading in the back of my mind.
In an instant, what was once interpreted as confusions and apprehensions, turns to compassion and understanding. Their eyes would shine with a light of being seen, and I would also feel the same. It would feel less trivial of a connection than most casual exchanges I’ve experienced in the past.
A genuine smile grows on their face, releasing any indicators of indifference. Now awash with warmth and regard to well-being. An enthusiastic response would come in the form of returning the same phrase,
“Buenas!”
There it was. My first connection that transcend the barriers of language. Barriers I had set in mind. I observed something I didn’t expect in that moment. Human connection has a desire to shine through any resistance.
The connection would be felt on a deep level, one I’m still processing. Perhaps it’s intense for me because the language barrier is such an intimidating block for me. But likely it’s my sudden awareness that conneciton is not exclusive to the words we use, but the words we consider using for the people we find imporant.
Over the first weeks and month in this city I would continue these interactions. While not every reaction was the same, I would get more and more warm responses. Learning more words, and sampling the little lessons these people have to share.
